Does Sexy = Easy?

“So I heard some of the football guys talking and they said you’re easy.”

My heart fell into my stomach. I was completely mortified.

I was an 18 year old virgin from small-town Kansas, and attempting to make my way through an intimidating social hierarchy at my new college in Los Angeles.

Upon retrospect, this guy didn’t know what he was talking about and probably just felt I wasn’t interested in him.  Or was HOPING I was easy so he could get “some”.

Yet, none of this matters.

At that moment, I believed him.  I didn’t believe that I was easy.  But I did believe that others saw me that way.

And I did not want that.

Hence, this was my Ego’s black and white solution:

Wearing feminine clothes that fit and look attractive=EASY

Allowing my warm and sometimes flirty nature to come out in conversations with straight men=EASY

Walking with my shoulders held back and my head high=EASY

Womanly Curves=EASY

Sexy=Easy

So I began wearing looser clothing with less shape, dark colors (Nun-esque).  I tried to hide my curious and confident Spirit behind a demure smile and quiet presence.  I attempted to “blend in”.  I started working out as much as possible to straighten out the curves.  Sexy was my enemy.  I was playing very small.

In other words, I stopped being ME.

I let one man’s random comment keep me from experiencing the fullness of who I am, my Wholeness.

This lasted through most of college and then a few years afterwards.

Then, a little over a year ago, I was speaking with a good friend about what I do for a living. I told her all about my Sexy Soul Wellness where I help my clients Love Their Bodies, Own Their Power, and Live Their Dreams.

She looked me straight in the eyes, and said, “So it sounds like you help your clients Own Their Power, but you can’t do that for yourself.”

Ouch.

The Truth Hurts.

And that is when I came Home to my Inner and Outer Sexy in a whole new way.

Not because I wanted to impress anyone, get attention, or win a social contest.  I wanted to “Bring Sexy Back” (Thanks Justin!) FOR ME!!!

My Sexy is part of my Power.  As a woman, this is my Divine Birthright.

I began holding my head higher when walking down the street and making eye contact with others passing by. Sometimes I would even smile when I felt so moved.  I started dressing in clothes that felt good, bright colors, and fabrics that hugged my curves.  I decided to take dance classes and yoga and get to know this beautiful body of mine.

I felt a fire growing inside my Core.  It had always been there, this Divine Spark.  Yet, now I could FEEL it.

Some might say I look easy.

Some might say I look snotty.

Some might say I look fake.

Some might say I look aloof.

But me and my Sexy, we FEEL fabulous!

And Whole, and in our Power.

And most importantly,  I feel like ME!

 

Cora Poage is Owner of Sexy Soul Wellness (www.sexysoulwellness.com). She is also a Board Certified Wellness Coach and will be receiving an MD in Spiritual Psychology  in August.  Cora’s specialty is guiding her clients in co-manifesting the body AND life of their dreams through intuitive eating, excercising, and living.  She guarentees that her clients love their bodies, own their power, and live their dreams.  She is also a guest teacher for her alma mater, the Institute of Integrative Nutrition (www.integrativenutrition.com) where she leads classes on Soul Centered Coaching and Business.  Cora spent her late teens and early 20′s struggling with a diet and weight control addiction.  Her dream and passion is to assist other people in finding freedom from weight and body concerns.